Quotations About Games
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
The Art of Coarse Golf, 1975
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.
Golf - My Slice of Life, 1972
You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.
Ball Four, 1970
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
A Mixed Threesome, 1922
No game in the world is as tidy and dramatically neat as baseball, with cause and effect, crime and punishment, motive and result, so cleanly defined.
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.
A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.
Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.
My goal is to deny yours.