“You could put on monkeys jumping up and down and get bigger numbers than MSNBC.”
"I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them."
“Jobs that cannot be delivered must never be promised. It's unfair to raise people's hopes that way.”
“Our goal is not the victory of might, but the vindication of right. Not peace at the expense of freedom, but both peace and freedom—here in this hemisphere and, we hope, around the world. God willing, that goal will be achieved.”
“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again.”
“I've been to Africa three times. All right? You can't bring Western reasoning into the culture. The same way you can't bring it into fundamental Islam.”
“The crisis isn’t over. The prospect of nuclear war has never been greater. The United States is so close to invading Cuba that one bad joke in the nonstop series of ExComm meetings is that Bobby Kennedy will soon be mayor of Havana.”
"Now it's so bad that I spend an enormous amount of money protecting myself against evil."
“You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for.”
“You either fight active evil or you accept it. Doing nothing is acceptance. There is no in-between.”
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“This country is a better place because Fox News has succeeded.”
“the Secret Service is now saying that Hinckley could have been stopped. All it would have taken was for Delahanty and the other Metro Police officers on the rope line to continue facing the crowd as Ronald Reagan departed the Hilton. It is a question that will dog Thomas Delahanty the rest of his life.”
"And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called 'karma.'"
“Great leaders take care of their men first, and then worry about their own needs.”
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"I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it... and if my unit is danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first."
“Night is a time of terror. Worries and anxieties are unleashed by the darkness, when the distractions and the busyness of the day can no longer keep them at bay."
“Yeah, I'm obnoxious, yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I'm rude. You know why? Because you're busy.”
“These so-called entertainers get rich while the kids who emulate their lyrics and attitude destroy themselves.”
“Most people live their lives as if the end were always years away. They measure their days in love, laughter, accomplishment, and loss. There are moments of sunshine and storm. Yet life can end in less time than it takes to draw one breath.”
“It's hard to do it because you gotta look people in the eye and tell 'em they're irresponsible and lazy. And who's gonna wanna do that? Because that's what poverty is, ladies and gentlemen. In this country, you can succeed if you get educated and work hard. Period. Period. “
“Put down your guns and go home. Let’s rebuild the nation together. This was President Lincoln’s vision, to which Grant subscribed.”
“We'll do it live... WE'LL DO IT LIVE! FUCK IT! DO IT LIVE... look, I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing SUCKS!”
“That's my advice to all homosexuals, whether they're in the Boy Scouts, or in the Army or in high school: Shut up, don't tell anybody what you do, your life will be a lot easier.“
Photo: Bill O'Reilly