Celebrities throughout the past have made resolutions which didn’t quite come true. Here are some humorous predictions on what they will be this coming new years.
“I will no longer offer my breast to my child to please Lord Xenu.” - Tom Cruise
“I will no longer let Tom Cruise breast feed my child.” - Katie Holmes
“I won’t let my audience down by giving them a car. I will give them FIVE!” - Oprah Winfrey
“I will finally teach Mrs. Donovan how to speak properly.” - Charlie Brown
“I… will finally… speak a.. sentence… in less than… ten sec..onds.” - Christopher Walken
“Me and my wife will have a baby!” - Tombe, the man who married a goat
“I will only vacation for 256 days this year!” - President George W. Bush
“Whittington won’t see it coming… MWAUK mwauk MWAUK” - Dick Cheney
“Truthiness will prevail again!” - Stephen Colbert
“I will hulp me sister become #3 best prostitute in all Kazakhstan.” - Borat
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